i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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