just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
