...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
