Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Acid is not a monday night drug
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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