why didn't you poke me back
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
