i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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