honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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