I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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