I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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