This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
