don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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