And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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