is your mom at the bar?
youre lurking in front of me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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