This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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