He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
