Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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