Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
