Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
