I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
