Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
