It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize