In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
