Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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