I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
