I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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