Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
