Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
