Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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