how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
