how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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