You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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