How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
