I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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