who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
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Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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