look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
