if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
