I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My vagina is very pro this idea
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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