I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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