You're a womanizer and a bitch.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
