just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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