This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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