You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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