Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.