I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I smell like Dick and happiness