We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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