I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
