whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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