what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
