she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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