you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
