How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
