im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
