remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
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his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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