can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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