So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
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When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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