I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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