I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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