Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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