God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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