just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I had to cum in my sink.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
