I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
