So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Randomize
