Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
