Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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