You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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