i think my tv is drunk
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
