I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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