The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
