where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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